Should You Holler at that Woman on the Street?: A Quick Guide

I shared this video from Hollaback yesterday of a woman being harassed on the streets of New York for doing nothing other than existing and having ass and tits. Of course, I was quickly barraged with Facebook messages, texts and tweets about how “saying ‘hello’ and telling a woman she’s beautiful is not harassment!” So I’mma break it down for you.

Here’s a quick check list to ask yourself if you should holler at that woman on the street:

1. Would you want a strange man to say it to your mother/sister/daughter?
Oh, yes, right, because I need to remind you that women are humans.

2. Are you a man?
Due to centuries of gender interaction, you’re automatically more threatening than a woman. Sorry. Hate to break it to you. I know, you’re so surprised! Men can be threatening and scary?! Who knew?! Definitely not the statistic that 78.1% of sexual assaults are committed by men! Or that women are told their whole lives to not walk alone because some dude might rape them! Maybe we should be afraid of tiny grandmas in dark alleys, but nahhhh in my twisted murder scenarios, I’m always chopped up and hidden in the walls of a condo by a man. Stereotypes, jeez!

3. Are you planning on “complimenting” her looks?
Pro-tip: No one ever said “Man, my dream husband yelled at me out his car window that I have a ‘nice ass!’ He’s perfect! I want to give him 100 blow jobs and make him steak every day!”

4. Does it add anything to anyone’s day?
Does saying “Hey beautiful” or “Smile!” cure cancer? Does it solve world hunger? Does it make Jim Morrison come back from the dead and reunite The Doors? Does it contribute shit to anything? Yeah, probably not! Keep walkin’, bruh!

5. Would you say it to the man behind her?
Ohhhh, so you wouldn’t tell the dude behind her that his “ass looks good?” Cool, zip it.

Now let me walk in silence. Bye!