How to Hide Your Router – And Go Crazy in the Process

Router book hider

I love Pinterest. It’s no secret. I pin to my little heart’s content, and remind myself that my house will never be that clean or gigantic, and I’ll probably never be able to dye my hair that trendy shade of silver/lavender without it all falling out in handfuls. Pinterest is the Olivia Palermo of social networking sites. You’re envious of its magical creations, but you also know you’ll never be as precious and perfectly put-together.

But then you troll the DIY & Crafts section.

Suddenly, the world is your crafty oyster. You’re fucking great at DIYs. You own a hot glue gun. You’ve been to Jo-Ann Fabrics. You’re even on their email lists. Your middle name is “#DIY” and you’re drinking mimosas with Jo-Ann herself, eating cupcakes with wrappers you designed and bedazzled yourself. You don’t need a man, you have a muthafukin’ rotary cutter.

So you start browsing. Like a hot man in a desert, you see a pin you MUST create. YOU. MUST. Suddenly you think, “Oh shit, I can totally pull off this next-level router hider! I mean, who wants to look at my router? It’s not like everyone¬†in America has them, ewwww gross, they’re like pubic hair, I must keep them out of view!!” Yeah. Only BASICS let their routers show.

You head to the thrift shop and fill your arms with about forty pounds of hardcover books, still thinking “This router cover/hider is going to be hot shit, I’m about to be Martha Stewart up in this bitch.” You confidently head home, somehow managing to spend $32 on old shitty hardcover books you’re going to rip to shreds, and get ready to get BUSY.

When you start cutting apart the first book: “Sure, ripping apart 40-year-old books won’t be hard! I work out! I can handle it!”

When you start cutting apart the 14th book: “FUCK. MY. LIFE.”

This process made me throw a wooden block at my boyfriend.

If you’re looking to get a divorce, work on this project in front of your husband. I’m pretty sure my boyfriend contemplated moving out the weekend I worked on this. Everything that could go wrong did. The wooden box was too small, so I had to remove the nails and rebuild it, resulting in breaking a board and throwing me into a fit of rage. I screamed. I howled. I asked myself if 1,000 paper cuts were worth covering my router. I must note that I have nothing but utmost respect for the creator of this DIY. She’s a goddess among¬†women like myself who will never be on her level.

Real talk, this DIY was not my friend.

Router Hider 1

Yes, I finished the DIY. I ask every single person who comes to my house if it looks believable. Making this thing was a total pain in the ass and I am not going to pretend it was easy, or enjoyable, or that I will ever do it again. You want to know how to hide your router? Put it in a room no one goes in. The end.

The best part? It was too thick.

Our remote is not strong enough to go through the book bindings. YES, REALLY.

So, yeah, I made a pretty dope router cover that doesn’t really cover my router. Thanks, Pinterest.


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