How To Fake Being Over Your Hangover – with your beauty products

If you’re reading my blog, there’s a good possibility you’re a lush (don’t worry, this pot isn’t calling the kettle black). Let’s face it, you probably didn’t need that last vodka/soda. Or, maybe, like, the last three.

And while there are 10,000 (make that 10 million) articles online about how to cure a hangover, this one can be done with items that are already in your beauty arsenal – or at least make you look like you’re over this.

  1. Wash your face with really cold water. Yep. Get up and wash it. Last night’s makeup is basically seeping into your precious eyes and it’s making you feel more disgusting. I know, it’s hard to get out of bed when you just want to throw up and/or die, but you’ll thank me. The ultra-chilly water will wake you up and invigorate your skin, mimicking that awesome feeling of your face on a linoleum floor. Use circular massage motions to get your shit going.
  2. Put some lotion on that face – with cold hands. Just like your ceiling fan should be on the “this thing might fly off and kill me” setting, putting your lotion on with chilly hands (preferably right after you wash your face) is a game-changer.
  3. EYE CREAM. Eye cream is essential. You’re supposedly supposed to start using eye cream at the age of 21, and since I was about four years late to the game, I recommend this stuff to everyone. Slather on that eye cream to get rid of the shame on your face.
  4. Put some makeup on – but steer clear of a too-bold eye. If you have brunch plans and need to force your ass up (story of my life), just do your makeup. It’ll boost your confidence and you’ll feel more productive. I prefer to go with a bold lip or some rosy cheeks if you went heavy on eye makeup last night. Sometimes your peepers need a break.
  5. Use a highlighter on the corners of your eyes. I use a highlighter every day to appear more awake, and when you’re hungover, this is basically a magic trick. It makes your eyes appear more awake, even if you’re functioning on two hours of sleep and want to die. Have I mentioned how much you want to die? Why do we drink???
  6. Wine-stained lips? Keep it going. Did those happy hour drinks really leave their mark. Grab a good lip stain, layer it on, and go about your day. Boom.

That whole nauseous/headache combo? Yeah, coffee and Advil is about all I can offer you there.