Embarrassing Reviews: Monistat Soothing Care Chafing Relief Powder Gel Review
Oh hey summer, it’s great to see you again! You bring gorgeous honeysuckle (and allergies), and cute little outfits (oh, great, thanks for reminding me I drank too much beer this winter), and of course, my favorite summer trait of all!
For you skinny betches who don’t know what chub rub is, it’s when your thighs rub together and create irritation because you no longer have the ability to protect them with opaque black tights or high-rise jeans. Chub rub fucking sucks. It’s unattractive, it hurts, and it’s itchy. I remember my first run in with chub rub. I was at camp in sixth grade and I was hiking through the woods after going swimming. Two hours later, I thought my thighs were literally going to fall off, and then was concerned I may have contracted poison ivy. Yes, folks, chub rub feels like poison ivy two inches from your lady parts.
Of course, since I’m a lady of adventure, I come to you, folks, with the review of a product that can supposedly prevent chub rub. There are a handful of significant inventions in my life – the microwave, Spotify, boxed mac and cheese – that have really changed things for the better. If the Monistat Soothing Care Chafing Relief Powder-Gel can prevent chub rub, it will have cemented a permanent spot in my life.
Uh, but I don’t want to buy a yeast infection product…
First, let’s talk about how awkward it is to be using a Monistat product. No, I do not have a yeast infection. Yes, I am carrying something that says “Monistat” on it around in my purse. Please don’t look at it or ever see me in possession of it. Even buying it at Rite-Aid made me more feel more awkward than buying a year’s worth of tampons. The Monistat product retails for about $6 depending on where you awkwardly buy it. However, you CAN order it on Amazon to avoid any potential “This makes me feel weird,” moments, but for some reason, it’s retailing for $23 on there. The price of convenience, I guess.
So how’d it work?
I applied a light layer of the gel/powder in my hand, and it felt pretty nice. It doesn’t smell weird – so mega bonus points for that. I then slathered the stuff on my thighs and wore a bodycon skirt, so those puppies were rubbing together like two wild kids at prom. I even went for a WALK downtown with my dog, so there was no shortage of sweat or friction.
The Monistat product worked nicely. After about 15 minutes of walking, my legs weren’t bothered. “Eureka!” I thought “Freedom is mine!”
The next 20 minutes, my thunder thighs were just as itchy and depressed as they were without the stuff. This stuff wears off fast, so if you DEFINITELY need chafing relief, you should probably bring it with you (ugh, someone might see you with a Monistat product). Or you should just wear tights.
I’ll continue to use this stuff because it likely has some sort of placebo effect that makes me think it’s working, when in reality, my chub rub just hasn’t set in yet. But for $6, the mental stillness is worth it.